Slow Week

Well, as the title says, it has been a slow week for Work.  I've been busy at work, teaching some first responder classes all week.  I haven't done anything of note in the magical sense.  I am still working on integrating fire.  I am slowly coming back to a more calm energy level.  It is still a good deal higher than it used to be, but it is much more consistent than it has been for the past couple of weeks.  I am considering working with air next, however I haven't actually made up my mind.  At this point, any suggestions would be welcomed.

Aside from the above, I have been reading over and thinking about this post by Frater RO.*  It's entitled Post Apocalyptic Living.  Effectively it is a call to action.  RO literally says, "Wake the fuck up, brothers and sisters".  If you think these are harsh words, I have to tell you, I happen to think he is right.  We, as Mages/sorcerers/shapers of reality, do not have to live in society the way everyone else does.  We have access to the power and ability to shape the very world around us.  Too many people I know just sit and drift through life.  They have normal jobs, they do normal extra curricular activities, and they complain about the whims of the economy and society.  WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT!!  We have the knowledge, will, and responsibility to take charge of our realities.  If you consider yourself any sort of mage** then you have no excuse to sit there and complain about your situation while doing nothing about it.  There are myriad ways to work magic with a minimum of tools.  RO shows us in his Modern Angelic Grimoire that a bit of paper and a pen or pencil is sufficient, Donald Tyson in his Portable Magic gives us a method of working ceremonial magic with nothing more than a deck of tarot cards.  Yes, the grimoires and the lodge magic of the Golden Dawn have all sorts of nifty tools and such, and those are awesome to have.  I truly do enjoy working a full on ritual with the tools.  But!!!  They aren't necessary.  We have no excuse for not taking action when we don't like the situation we are in.

More will probably follow from this, but that's about all I have the presence of mind for tonight.  In other news, I went to Fort Worth today and got to be within inches of actual fragments of The Dead Sea Scrolls.  It was a truly moving experience for me.  I am sincerely hoping to be able to go again and spend a little more time.  If you are anywhere near central Texas, or are willing to make a trip for it, check out www.seethescrolls.com

* - If you do nothing else, at least read the post by RO that I linked.  If you have the time and inclination, follow the links he provides to his débrouillard posts, and at least this post from Rune Soup.

** - I like the term Mage.  It feels more right to me, I feel funny calling myself a sorcerer...  For the time being, this will be my default term.

It's Friday the 13th!

Today is one of my favorite days, purely because of all the superstition that surrounds it.  I, honestly, haven't ever felt Friday the 13th to be any less lucky than any other day of my life.  Overall, today was a good day, despite working late (yet again).

So, on to my Red Work update.  Overall things are going well.  Previously I had mentioned that RO's style of meditation was kicking my ass.  It still is, but not as badly and I have been reaping benefit from it.  I've noticed that the feelings of doubt in reference to the efficacy of my prayers have lessened.  I think this is primarily because I turned that meditation and contemplation toward those feelings and realized that they aren't really coming from an internal source.  If I had to guess(though this isn't a guess, this is something I am sure of), I would say that these feelings are brought on by my Evil Daimon in order to try and stop me from progressing to where I will bind him and lower the amount of power he has in my life.  In other news, I've been integrating Fire for almost two weeks, and am getting ready to work with Air.  It's been an interesting two weeks.  I've been really energized and have had trouble falling asleep.  I have found that when I am home I have been running around taking care of a lot of the little things I've put off before.  At work it has been a similar story.  I've had a couple people comment on the amount of work I have been getting done and how proactive I appear lately.  I ended up being in charge of the PT program for my company for about a week now due to all of the aforementioned stuff.  In that realm, I have been even more keyed up...  Normally I find myself at least a little worn out after PT in the morning but for the last week and a half or so, I have actually felt more energized.  I must say, I love it.  Other than that, I've been gathering supplies for further Work.

I'm planning something similar to what Fr RO shows in lesson 5 for a daimon trap.  I am changing it a little though.  I am planning similar initial traps, but I am searching for a bronze urn that I could place all five of the traps into and then further seal it.  Short of that, I have also been looking at bronzed jewelry boxes.  I think I could make use of one for this purpose.  In the course of it all, I am sure that I will change and further adapt until I decide on a final way to store the traps.  Also, I finally got my bookshelves moved to the one empty bedroom and have been setting it up as my Working room.  I've placed my main altar/table of manifestation, as well as two other, smaller, altars.  One of those is dedicated to St Cyprian of Antioch, St Michael the Archangel and St Mary Queen of the Angels and Saints.  The other is dedicated to Santa Muerte, The Honored Dead, and my Ancestors.  Having set these up, I have noticed things are going smoother overall, and there has been a rise in the amount of spiritual activity around me.  This is quite a heartening thing for me, it makes me feel much more confident in my choices to set these altars up.

On the more mundane side of life, my History of Western Civilization class has ended.  I did manage to get everything turned in before the final deadline and I pulled a decent grade.  The next class is probably going to end up being Theology 101, but that is only if I don't deploy.  I don't want to sign up for a class and then deploy and be unable to complete it.  Andrew B. Watt I would be quite pleased to have a chance for us to chat a bit on the content of this blog, on being a chaplain, and on just about anything else.  In reference to keeping on the school work, it is far from boring.  Even the things I have little interest in are not really boring to me.  Despite the lack of time due to training, I thoroughly loved being in a class again and actively learning.  And, I will be writing more often, as I get time and have something to write on.  I will be looking forward to reading your comments, though due to sudden spam I will be making all commentary require my review before posting to the entry.

Red Work and Life Update

In an effort to keep myself more on track with my current pursuits, I felt that blogging about it on a more regular basis would be beneficial.  It seems to work for plenty of other people, so I may as well try it.  I know it worked fairly well for the first few weeks with Tyson's book, and this time I'm not deployed (yet).

So, I've been working through Frater Rufus Opus' Red Work Courses, albeit very very slowly.  I've never had an issue with things like visualization or general focus so I didn't expect to have problems with basic meditation as he describes it. It seems that what I am more used to doing as a meditation is more like contemplation.  As Fr RO describes it, you start with calming your mind and then just observe the thoughts that arise.  He says to simply watch them, where they come from and where they go without actually directing them.  What I am more used to doing is similar except that I would actively follow my thoughts as they lead from one thing to another in order to better understand that thing, which is contemplation.  Having read over it, I seem to have overestimated myself.  I have no problems with contemplation in his course, but meditation is kicking my ass. 

Also, I find that though I pray nearly daily I now feel doubts relating to if I am doing it correctly, and when I start to get down on myself I start to think about if Anyone is listening.  I've prayed, in some way, almost every day of my life, so I don't know why these doubts are coming up now.  On a conscious level, I know that They do listen.  I've never been let down, even if the result of my prayer (or other magical working) wasn't what I had expected because it was always what I needed from it.  I know and take heart from the fact that the Logos/Workman, The Spirit of Nature, and Nous are my spiritual family.  I know that when I thank and praise them and enter into communion with them, that they do answer.  I still end up doubting, and I don't understand why.

Returning to contemplation, Fr RO has an assignment at the end of lesson two of the Black Work which involves contemplating where you're from based on the information in the lesson.  When I first started the contemplation, I felt pulled in so many directions...  Eventually it calmed and I continued with a visualization of the act of creation from The Corpus Hermeticum.  To say it was powerful was an understatement.  When I started, I was not very relaxed and hadn't even really entered even a liminal state of trance but within a few moments the visualization became my full experience.  It felt like hours watching things come into being and experiencing it all but it turned out to be only about 45 minutes in this world.  I plan on returning to this one and repeating it after I have worked a bit further on and have re-read The Corpus.  I expect that it will only be enhanced by that.

There is also an assignment to write about my life, where I've been, and the experiences that stand out in my memory.  I did complete this, but I am not comfortable sharing it in public at this time.  I will share that the act of writing it, and really thinking about some of it was enlightening.  I found that some of the memories still evoked very strong emotional reactions, and some led to the discovery of other items that I didn't even realize I could remember so clearly.

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Apart from the above (though is it really?), I noticed that lately in the blogosphere there has been a lot of discussion on The Solar Initiation, Abramelin Rite, Knowledge & Conversation of The Holy Guardian Angel as obtained through other rites.  There are some who assert that not everyone will go through a very difficult period from this and there are some who provide evidence of those who have lost a great deal.  This, of course, is tempered by a statement in Fr RO's most recent blog post, "It might hurt, transitioning between one lifestyle and another, it might be scary for a while, but the result is a refined, tempered, strengthened, repaired foundation for you to build upon." (The HGA and the Celestials )  As I have yet to obtain K&CHGA in any conscious way at this point in time, I really cannot comment much on the experience itself.  However I can say that though I do feel some trepidation as I approach the binding of the elemental demons and my evil daimon in preparation for the request to Michael for a Solar Initiation, I recognize it as the same trepidation I faced when I first left for basic training.  The very human parts of me are clinging to what they know and are somewhat resistant to change, especially BIG changes.  I don't plan on ceasing upon this course, I know of the risks and I know the rewards are even better than what I risk.  I know that the only things that will be burnt away during the solar initiation will be those things which are temporal.  This solar initiation will be a spiritual sandstorm for me.  It will be trying, it will be difficult at times, and it will hurt, but when it is over the only things left will be that which is as eternal as the stones themselves and they will have been changed by the experience.  Am I really ready for this?  Honestly?  Probably not, but I only say that because I don't think anyone can really understand it all until they've been through it.

Aside from that, I find myself a bit behind on my school work.  This is due to my unit's training schedule.  I haven't been around to have access to the internet in order to read some of the required reading or do the essays assigned.  My instructor has been amazingly understanding of the situation and prior to beginning to write this post I did what I could to get caught up on the discussion board items and turned in a timeline assignment.  I still have two essays I need to finish and turn in...  Wish me luck?  In reference to that, it seems that the people I work with have rather interesting views of me.  Recently, the topic of college came up and someone asked what I was studying.  They seemed very surprised when I told them I was working on a BS in Religion with a minor in Biblical Studies.  They asked me what I was studying that for, and when I told them that I planned on using my degree to become a chaplain they were literally speechless.  So, I started asking a few of the people I actually trust in the unit about it and received about the same reaction.  When I asked specifics I got an interesting range of answers.  It seems that quite a few of them assumed I was a Satanist because they had seen me with things like The Dead Sea Scrolls, and Michael Cecchetelli's amazing Crossed Keys.  The rest thought I was an Atheist because they saw me with Torahs, Bibles, Qu'rans and associated texts; apparently expanding my own personal spiritual view by reading multiple Holy Books is akin to not believing in God.  I really don't understand where that comes from...

A long long absence

My dear readers, if there are any out there anymore, I offer you my sincerest apologies.  Life got too hectic for quite a while and I wasn't able to post anything.  At this point, it has been over a year since my last post.  I will give you a run down on what's been going on with me up to this point, then wrap up the posts on Tyson's Magician's Workbook.

So, going back to April last year, I was in Iraq.  Our mission changed a bit and I ended up unable to get online at all for quite some time.  Upon returning to the US, life continued to keep me under it's thumb with various over riding priorities.  At this point, I am slated for yet another deployment later this year.  On the magical side of things, I did finish out the daily exercises with Tyson's book; I read a good deal of other books, articles, blogs, etc; and I somewhat recently decided it would be best to return to the basics and better embrace the roots of my beliefs and practices in order to get rid of some of the nonfunctional and unsavory habits that I picked up along the way.  Think of it as a bit of spiritual spring cleaning that is long, long over due.

To wrap up the bit on Tyson's book, I did finish out the exercises.  My opinion at the end of the whole thing is that while it is a good system of daily practice for those who don't already have one, I don't know how applicable it is to people who are not already familiar with the general Qabalistic inspired ceremonial magical practices.  Also, I feel that it presents a great way to break into a bit of daily, or near daily, practice but I think that any practitioner worth their salt will end up changing things over time in order to better suit their personal needs.  I do realize that the primary people who pick up the book will have these ideals in mind, but it is still something I would warn about when introducing the book to someone who is a newfound seeker.

In the last couple months, I have read through quite a few grimoires.  The ones I gave the most focus to were Michael Cecchetelli's Crossed Keys published by Scarlet Imprint, The Goetia of Dr. Rudd and The Magical Treatise of Solomon or Hygromanteia both published by Golden Hoard.  Other than those, I have read through the rest of GH's Sourceworks of Ceremonial Magic series with the exception of their latest which is Dr. John Dee's Spiritual Diaries.  I am quite impressed with MC's work, and I thoroughly enjoyed the way Goetia of Dr. Rudd was presented.  When it comes to Hygromanteia, it spurred an interest in the pre-solomonic ritual magic practices which has found me looking into the GPM and reading some wonderful stuff by Jake Stratton-Kent (Geosophia), as well as Aaron Leitch's Secrets Of The Magical Grimoires.  I also, very recently, started on Frater Rufus Opus' Red Work Courses.

I am quite taken with Fr RO's approach and the way he presents his work.  I am only on his second lesson of the Black Work section, but it is really refreshing to get to the basics of it all.  Reading and working through, from the beginning like this, has allowed me to really strip away a lot of the things I have been doing and really evaluate what does and doesn't work for me.  Having read through his Neoplatonic Basics, I find that a lot of it meshes well with what I already believe (though I haven't ever taken the time to really hash it all out).  I am looking forward to really putting into practice everything in The Red Work Courses, and cleaning up my overall practices. 

Prior to beginning The Work, I had already started to strip away things in my usual practices that either had no mileage or just plain didn't make sense to me.  I began a regimen of near daily prayer and contemplative meditation, and had been working with a couple familiar spirits for primarily theurgic reasons.  For those of you who may be curious, when called upon to define what it is I believe, I have come to say that I am an Esoteric Abrahamic Panentheist.  To explain, I hope I don't have to define the term Esoteric for most of the people who come to this blog but just in case, according to Webster esoteric means - a : designed for or understood by the specially initiated alone <a body of esoteric legal doctrine — B. N. Cardozo> b : requiring or exhibiting knowledge that is restricted to a small group <esoteric terminology>; broadly : difficult to understand <esoteric subjects>.  Abrahamic is having to do with the faiths that stem from Abraham so Judaic, Christian, and Islamic.  I find value in the overall current of Abrahamic faith.  And, for panentheism, I prefer the Encyclopedia Britannica explanation - "...the universe conceived of as a whole is God and, conversely, that there is no God but the combined substance, forces, and laws that are manifested in the existing universe. The cognate doctrine of panentheism asserts that God includes the universe as a part though not the whole of his being."  So, there ya go, if you ever wondered what I believe its an amalgamation of Hermetic, Abrahamic, and panentheist thought.

A Long Term Plan (Week 7-22/40)

  Between a website that decided to show only in Arabic and a hectic work schedule I have not been able to access this blog properly to add to my logs.  Thanks to my new working environment I now have access via an IP that reads as Western Europe.  Due to this, Blogger finally comes up in English again.

  Originally, I had been keeping this log weekly via OpenOffice.  I have chosen to compress the previous weeks into one shorter entry and only focus on some of the more interesting bits, instead of a flurry of postings detailing each week as I had been.  If anyone does have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments and I will gladly elaborate.

Review Of The Previous Weeks:
-Week 6: Nothing of note this week.  Difficulty focusing during the stepped relaxation for the first couple days.

--Exercise: 3 - Self-Awareness III: Criticism of Self (pg 8)
--Exercise: 4 - Inward Perception I: Stepped Relaxation (pg 13)
--Exercise: 7 - Inward Perception IV: Tattwa Awareness (pg 23)
--Exercise: 12 - Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
--Exercise: 19 - Visualization III: Astral Temple (pg 64)

-Week 7: Nothing to note.

--Exercise: 7 - Inward Perception IV: Tattwa Awareness (pg 23)
--Exercise: 11 - Breathing I: Color Breathing (pg39)
--Exercise: 14 - Outward Concentration I: Time Watching (pg 50)
--Exercise: 15 - Outward Concentration II: Candle Burning (pg 53)
--Exercise: 16 - Outward Concentration III:Water Boiling (pg 55)
--Exercise: 17 - Visualization I: Geometric Shapes (pg 57)

-Week 8: Had a little fun with the Projection of Will exercise, until the novelty wore off.  This week seemed to drag on, really didn't look forward to any of the exercises.

--Exercise: 8  - Inward Concentration I: Mantra (pg 28)
--Exercise: 12 - Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
--Exercise: 20 - Projection of the Will I: Affecting an Object (pg 68)

-Week 9: This was about the same as last week.  During the first day or two, the novelty of the Affecting an Element exercise was stronger.  I think some of the stuff going on in my life is nagging at my concentration too much.  I have an overall sense of unease and am starting to show signs of Acute Stress Disorder.  I really can't wait until I get my leave(R&R), I need the break.

--Exercise: 9 - Inward Concentration II: Thought Stream (pg 31)
--Exercise: 13 - Breathing III:The Nine-Seven Breath (pg 47)
--Exercise: 21 - Projection of the Will II: Affecting an Element (pg 71)

-Week 10: I didn't get any noticeable results from Exercise 22.  Nothing else of note.

--Exercise: 10 - Inward Concentration III: Daily Recall (pg 34)
--Exercise: 13 - Breathing III:The Nine-Seven Breath (pg 47)
--Exercise: 22 - Projection of the Will III: Affecting a Living Being (pg 74)

-Week 11: Not much to note this week either.  I will say that I prefer the four-fold breath compared to Tyson's 9-7 Breath.

--Exercise: 5 - Inward Perception II: Elemental Orientation (pg 17)
--Exercise: 6 - Inward Perception III: Astral Projection (pg 20)
--Exercise: 7 - Inward Perception IV: Tattwa Awareness (pg 23)
--Exercise: 13 - Breathing III:The Nine-Seven Breath (pg 47)
--Exercise: 17 - Visualization I: Geometric Shapes (pg 57)
--Exercise: 18 - Visualization II: Leaving The Body (pg 61)
--Exercise: 19 - Visualization III: Astral Temple (pg 64)
--Exercise: 20 - Projection of the Will I: Affecting an Object (pg 68)

-Week 12: I find that Tyson's Aura Awareness feels like it was probably based off of the Middle Pillar exercise, though heavily modified.

--Exercise: 4 - Inward Perception I: Stepped Relaxation (pg 13)
--Exercise: 11 - Breathing I: Color Breathing (pg39)
--Exercise: 23 - Aura Awareness (pg 81)

-Week 13: Nothing to note.

--Exercise: 5 - Inward Perception II: Elemental Orientation (pg 17)
--Exercise: 12 - Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
--Exercise: 24 - Grounding and Centering (pg 86)

-Week 14: I like Tyson's explanation of Vibrating the Names Of Power.  Probably the best I've read, and I had some really good results.

--Exercise: 6 - Inward Perception III: Astral Projection (pg 20)
--Exercise: 13 - Breathing III:The Nine-Seven Breath (pg 47)
--Exercise: 25 - Vibrating Names of Power (pg 90)

-Week 15: Nothing to note as far as practice goes.  I am still feeling stressed, but dealing well.  The general focus on my practice has helped with it.

--Exercise: 8  - Inward Concentration I: Mantra (pg 28)
--Exercise: 12 - Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
--Exercise: 23 - Aura Awareness (pg 81)
--Exercise: 24 - Grounding and Centering (pg 86)
--Exercise: 25 - Vibrating Names of Power (pg 90)
--Exercise: 26 - Charging an Object (pg 97)

-Week 16: Nothing to note.

--Exercise: 9 - Inward Concentration II: Thought Stream (pg 31)
--Exercise: 11 - Breathing I: Color Breathing (pg39)
--Exercise: 27 - Qabalistic Cross (pg 105)

-Week 17: I don't like the feel of Tyson's version of the Middle Pillar.  I gave it a shot for this week but I won't be using it again, I intend on substituting with a more traditional form of the MP when this exercise comes back up.

--Exercise: 10 - Inward Concentration III: Daily Recall (pg 34)
--Exercise: 13 - Breathing III:The Nine-Seven Breath (pg 47)
--Exercise: 28 - Middle Pillar (pg 111)

-Week 18: Nothing to Note.

--Exercise: 4 - Inward Perception I: Stepped Relaxation (pg 13)
--Exercise: 12 - Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
--Exercise: 23 - Aura Awareness (pg 81)
--Exercise: 24 - Grounding and Centering (pg 86)
--Exercise: 25 - Vibrating Names of Power (pg 90)
--Exercise: 26 - Charging an Object (pg 97)
--Exercise: 27 - Qabalistic Cross (pg 105)
--Exercise: 28 - Middle Pillar (pg 111)

-Week 19: Starting to have real difficulty focusing in general.  I couldn't find any astrological reasons for it, so I am guessing it is just the stress.

--Exercise: 6 - Inward Perception III: Astral Projection (pg 20)
--Exercise: 7 - Inward Perception IV: Tattwa Awareness (pg 23)
--Exercise: 11 - Breathing I: Color Breathing (pg39)
--Exercise: 14 - Outward Concentration I: Time Watching (pg 50)
--Exercise: 15 - Outward Concentration II: Candle Burning (pg 53)
--Exercise: 16 - Outward Concentration III:Water Boiling (pg 55)
--Exercise: 17 - Visualization I: Geometric Shapes (pg 57)
--Exercise: 18 - Visualization II: Leaving The Body (pg 61)
--Exercise: 19 - Visualization III: Astral Temple (pg 64)
--Exercise: 20 - Projection of the Will I: Affecting an Object (pg 68)

-Week 20: Still no results from Exercise 22.

--Exercise: 8  - Inward Concentration I: Mantra (pg 28)
--Exercise: 12 - Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
--Exercise: 20 - Projection of the Will I: Affecting an Object (pg 68)
--Exercise: 21 - Projection of the Will II: Affecting an Element (pg 71)
--Exercise: 22 - Projection of the Will III: Affecting a Living Being (pg 74)

-Week 21: I recognize the utility of practicing exercises 29 and 30, but I get similar practice from my daily LBRP and BRH.

--Exercise: 13 - Breathing III:The Nine-Seven Breath (pg 47)
--Exercise: 27 - Qabalistic Cross (pg 105)
--Exercise: 29 - Projecting The Lesser Circle (pg 121)
--Exercise: 30 - Projecting The Greater Circle (pg 125)

Schedule of exercises for Week 22:
-Exercise: 13 - Breathing III:The Nine-Seven Breath (pg 47)
-Exercise: 28 - Middle Pillar (pg 111)
-Exercise: 31 - Invoking The Guardians Of The Quarters (pg 130)

Thoughts and expectations for the week:
  I don't have any real problems with exercise 13, however I still prefer the four-fold breath that I was already familiar with.

  Still not going to use Tyson's version of the Middle Pillar.  It just doesn't feel right to me.  I am planning to switch out his technique with the one that can be found in John Michael Greer's book, Circles of Power(ISBN 1-56718-313-1).

  Exercise 31 is just one part of the LBRP, this combined with exercises 30 and 32 pretty much make a version of the LBRP.  Seeing as I do this as part of my daily rituals, I will probably leave this out on it's own and rely on my daily ritual to fill in this part of the practice.

Misc:
  I think I have finalized my ideas for the TOL rosary I mentioned in a previous post.  Also, I have been focusing even more on my study of the Greater and Lesser Keys of Solomon.  I am frustrated at being deployed right now, but I do not have any real privacy, and the space I can use for my daily rituals is very small.  Recently, my room mate walked in while I was in the middle of an evocation of Sandalphon using Solomonic techniques.  Luckily for me, he just turned around and hung out in someone else's room for a couple of hours.  All he really heard or saw was me speaking/chanting in Latin.  I should be getting my leave(vacation/ R&R) close to the end of this month, and I am really itching to get a break.  The stress has been building up a lot, and it is starting to really make it difficult for me to focus.

Apologies, Dear Reader...

Ok, I've fallen behind a couple of weeks on my updates here.  At the same time, I have fallen behind in my exercises from The Magician's Workbook.  Deployment life has caught up with me.  I have managed to keep up with my previous daily practices, for the most part, though even those have not been actually daily.  Some "days" have lasted 36+ hours, which throws me off.  Especially so when I lose track of time.  Either way, my previously practiced "daily" exercises, have been whenever I wake up for the day (and when that is rather abrupt and timing doesn't work out then they have been just before I go to sleep).

I figured that I should write this, since I owe some explanation to whatever readers I may have.  As it stands, I picked back up where I left off, as of this previous Sunday, January 23rd.

A Long Term Plan (Week 6/40)

Review Of The Previous Week:
All of the exercises went about as expected. The only thing to note was that the continuation of the Astral Projection and Pore Breathing exercises did indeed have a positive effect on my other daily practices.

Schedule of exercises for Week 6:
-Exercise 3: Self-Awareness III: Criticism of Self (pg 8)
-Exercise 4: Inward Perception I: Stepped Relaxation (pg 13)
-Exercise 7: Inward Perception IV: Tattwa Awareness (pg 23)
-Exercise 12: Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
-Exercise 19: Visualization III: Astral Temple (pg 64)
Exercise 7 is the first five days, and then 4 replaces it for the final two days.

Thoughts and expectations for the week:
My expectations for Exercise 3 are the same as last time, I don't think there will be much change.

Stepped Relaxation may end up being replaced by a relaxation technique that I know to work for me. I have given a few weeks to trying it the way Tyson says, and I admit readily that his technique is one that works for many people. However, it does not have the desired effect on me. As far as I can tell, the whole point of a relaxation exercise is to get used to(and proficient in) relaxing the whole body. Following this line of reason, I can safely resume using my previously successful techniques.

I am unsure of the Tattwa Awareness, simply because of the lack of resources here. Unless I order it over the internet or ask someone to send it, I won't be getting any color of construction paper. I may experiment a bit to see if I can substitute something to fill in for the Tattwa symbols. We shall see.

Pore Breathing is a continuation from the past two weeks. I think I will start to see its benefits plateau in relation to my daily practice, but the exercise will still help to maintain them at the level they are now at.

Astral Temple should be interesting, since its an exercise I have used before though for other reasons and in a slightly different way. I don't expect any real difficulty with it.


Misc:
So, I am human... I missed a few exercises through the week due to the fact that one day rolled into the next during some operations out here. Suffice it to say that by the time I realized I needed to do some of the exercises for one day, that day was well past. Shit happens, and I don't think that I am going to lose all hope or benefit simply from missing a day or two.

Thoughts Upon My Path...

Recently, I came back into contact with a good friend of mine who I see as the closest thing to a fallen angel as I am ever like to meet. We had some conversation, and in the course of it all I gave out a link to this blog as the newest space where any of my writings live. The Angel asked if I would post a few of my writings from my notebooks, so I have transliterated one of them that seemed to be rather applicable to the thoughts running around my head now. Toward the end of this, I make mention of hoping to find others along the way who will share this path with me. I am quite happy and proud to say that this person, my fallen angel, is one who in their own way walks this path beside me.

I found this one to fit because lately I have been fielding a lot of questions as to what I believe and why. Also, I should note, I am not actually sure exactly when I originally wrote this. The notebook is no older than 2 or 2 and half years, but nothing in it is dated and I do not recall at what point I filled these pages and put it away.

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I have my own reasons for the spiritual seeking that I have undertaken. For the most part, its a desire to be more than I am... To feel as though I am truly making some headway in striving to fulfill a higher purpose to life. The paths I've chosen to walk that have gotten me to where I am now have been many and varied. Honestly though, the path that has had the most influence on me has been that of the magical universe. It started because a part of me has always longed for a world where the sassy mage can throw lightning from her fingertips, or the only wizard in Chicago's Yellow Pages just happens to be a smart-ass. When it comes down to it, do I really believe the feats described in myriad fantasy novels are possible?

Yes and no... I think that at one time, the world was a lot more magical. This was before humankind started to rely on science to explain everything. At that time, I figure that many things were possible because our psyches allowed it to be, but over centuries the human psyche has responded to society and blocks have been put in place subconsciously. This means that today, the feats aren't possible in the way that they were and they need to fit within the current rules imposed by our psyche, which results in the subtle nature of magical work in today's world. Beyond that, I think that those people who have made the effort to push themselves to break those barriers and are probably the only ones capable of feats resembling those more than likely have no desire to perform them.

Think about it, it would take a lot of real work and a focus on something other than the self and the ego in order to raise yourself beyond the point where most of us sit. By the time you got there, you wouldn't have a true desire to do that stuff just to do it. Your focus would be on continuing to grow. This ties in well with the idea of the "Great Work" of Ceremonial Magick. Ultimately the goal of Ceremonial Magick is raising our consciousness to commune with our Higher Self, the Holy Guardian Angel of the Golden Dawn tradition. Now, this is not to say that the techniques and practices of ritual magick can only be used for this purpose. In fact, the techniques and procedures are quite effective at making changes in the world around us, albeit not as flashy as throwing lightning but changes all the same. When it comes down to it, we all have to answer for our actions whether to some higher power or simply having to live with ourselves. Tying this in with the discussion of the Great Work, when you perform a working which achieves an effect on the physical world and at the same time serves to bring you closer to divinity(and thus your Higher Self), then you are moving forward in the Work, whereas when you perform a working that achieves an effect in the physical world but either doesn't serve to elevate you or in some way brings you down(such as by causing needless harm to someone or something) you are not moving forward in the Work. Interestingly enough, this doesn't require that you believe in one deity or another, simply that you acknowledge a higher power and therefore a higher purpose. The techniques work, regardless of "who" you choose to believe in. Although they make use of the various Hebrew names of God, the Names denote various functions or faces of Divinity and not truly a specific deity.

I can easily accept the Cabalistic view of a universe that is both an emanation from within God and therefore a part of him, and at the same time is also seperate from God. Also, it provides a structure to a universe that is otherwise seemingly random and chaotic, and within that structure it provides a road map for spiritual growth and a way to work toward the goal of the Great Work.

Returning to the talk of flashy effects in the physical world, one must ask if people would even be willing to admit to themselves what it is they are seeing. Honestly, I believe that most people exist in a state of "I will see it when I believe it". No, that isn't a mis-print. People can look at something that happens, and then convince themselves that it is whatever happens to fit within their worldview. Therefore, they will see it when they choose to believe it. This is how one person can see something as a miracle and another can pass it off as coincidence.

I choose to see the world as full of miracles and magic. I choose to live in a world where I can aspire to be something more. And in this world, I believe I am not alone. Which brings me to the other main reason I have chosen the paths that led me to the here and now. I feel alone, most of the time. I can be in a crowd of people and still feel that I may be the only one there who sees the world in the way I do or feels the way I do about something. I am so tired of that feeling. So, my hope is that through becoming more unified with my Higher Self, I can find other people who will walk this path with me.

---

Just a note, 10 points and a gold star to whoever gets the bit about the wizard in Chicago's Yellow Pages.

A Long Term Plan (Week 5/40)

Review Of The Previous Week:
The exercise in Ego Denial went about as expected. The first two days had marks over four hundred each, the rest of the week faired slightly better though I didn't get below one hundred at all. The exercise seemed especially difficult when watching movies or reading, since I have a tendency to put myself in the main characters role and wonder how I would fair in their shoes. A thought occured at one point, that if I were doing this Crowley's way and cutting myself each time I made an infraction, then I probably would have exsanguinated sometime during those first two days.

Both Astral Projection and Pore Breathing exercises went well, and practicing them on a daily basis even if only for a week had a noticable effect on my normal daily workings.

I underestimated the exercise in visualization of Geometric Shapes. The first parts of it, the point and the line, went easily enough but I found that shortly after that I would have trouble maintaining the whole image. I am not quite sure why this is, since I regularly maintain quite a few images during even a fairly simple exercise like the Banishing Ritual Of The Pentagram, and I have no issues doing that.

Schedule of exercises for Week 5:
-Exercise 2: Self-Awareness II: Criticism of Others (pg 6)
-Exercise 6: Inward Perception III: Astral Projection (pg 20)
-Exercise 12: Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
-Exercise 18: Visualization II: Leaving The Body (pg 61)
All of these are done each day, with no variations.

Thoughts and expectations for the week:
I don't expect much of a difference between this iteration and the previous one of Criticism of Others. Perhaps a few more marks at the beginning, but that will probably be it.

Astral Projection and Pore Breathing are a continuation of the previous week, and I am looking forward to continueing them. This is mostly to see whether they continue to have a positive effect on my daily practices or the benefits plateau.

This week's exercise in Leaving The Body should prove interesting, though I don't expect any difficulty. This one will probably turn out similar to the Astral Projection exercise and have a positive effect on my regular routine simply out of practicing this skill. The only real difficulty I will have is following Tyson's advice in not doing this exercise in the same room too many times without moving things around.

Misc:
Work this past week has left me fairly drained of mental energy, so I really don't have anything else to add today. At some point, I am going to put in summaries of all the exercises thus far so that those who do not have this book can see what I am talking about. I will probably do this every other week or so when new exercises are mentioned. I am just trying to be careful to not infringe on the copywrite of this book. Also, so far, I have links to download PDF forms of all the books mentioned here, for free. So if you are interested, then please private message me or leave a comment with your email address or some other way to contact you and what books you are interested in.

The Role Of Will and True Will

If a person wishes to reach a goal or to become proficient with something, and then dedicates themselves to a certain amount of practice or to the path that leads to that goal, and these proficiencies and goals also lead them to become a happier and more enlightened person, and thus closer to God, isn't this then a part of their True Will? Perhaps a better starting point for this post is the question, what is Will?

Will is one of the five faculties that our human consciousness can be divided into, the other four being Intellect, Emotion, Imagination, and Memory. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines it as "the faculty by which a person decides on and initiates action", and also as "a deliberate or fixed desire or intention", and "the thing one desires or ordains". Will is integral within the practice of magick, just look at Crowley's definition of magick, "the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will." This is why it is important to understand exactly what it is, and how your Will and your True Will can differ. Your True Will is that which comes from your higher self, and ultimately comes down to attainment of unity with your higher(enlightened/fully realized) self and thus with divinity. This is not to say that it is a desire to become a god, but a desire and intention to become one with God regardless of what name or names you may use for Divinity. I fall into the school of thought that everything works within certain levels of vibration. As such, I recognize that if a person does regular meditations and pathworkings that bring them into contact with Divinity, then they will naturally raise their vibrational levels and thus slowly move toward that unity. Which brings us back to my original question, if a person actively seeks a goal which makes them feel happier or more complete and it also serves to make them a more enlightened person then is this not an extension of True Will?

As an example, Joe Snuffy has a goal of playing a musical instrument. When he takes the time to seek out a teacher and sets a certain amount of daily practice time, it shows his devotion to this intent. This is an exercise of his Will. Now, as he practices and plays it makes him happier overall in his life. He is attaining a goal which makes him feel more accomplished, and let's say that at the same time his music offers a different way for him to see the world around him and thus makes him a more enlightened person. In this case, his dedication to learning that instrument was in line with his True Will, which brought him closer to unity with God. Now, let's extend that into the realm of magickal pursuits. Joe wants a better job, and after taking some courses and writing up his resume is still having trouble landing that dream job. He decides to do a spell to help push himself in the right direction. After considering exactly how to do it, he settles on doing a ritual which will help to bring out the qualities in himself that he believes the employers are looking for in that field of work. He does this by creating a talisman that is charged with the energies of a Sphere on the Tree of Life that embodies these qualities. Through this working he must ritually invoke that sphere and its energies which are at a higher vibrational level than our physical world in Malkuth, and as such closer to Divinity. This, then, is a brush with Divinity and as such helps to raise Joe's natural vibrational level. In this case, his working served both his Will to help get that job and his True Will of Unity.

In no way am I saying that magickal acts are the only way to attain that unity, nor am I saying that magick cannot be used for less divine reasons. We all know that our worldy desires do not always have such high aims. I, for one, have used magick for more worldy pursuits and I am sure I am not the only one. Going back to our example, Joe could have chosen simply to do his ritual in order to remove his competition for that job or done a working specifically to bring that job to him instead of bringing out the qualities in him. Am I saying that there is anything wrong or evil in these choices? No, not at all. These are simply other choices that are open to Joe. Ultimately though, it is the paths we choose in order to attain our goals that define who we are and whether or not we become closer to that Unity with God. And, in order to better choose which paths to walk, we must be knowledgeable of our Will and our True Will and where each leads. Sometimes, they will be one and the same and other times they will be vastly different directions.

A Long Term Plan (Week 4/40)

Review Of The Previous Week:
Criticism of Self went alright. I didn't expect to get that many marks, but I ended up coming away with no less than ten on any given day. The first two days had ten marks each, and my high point was eighteen. I don't think that is too bad, and it definitely has helped me to learn more about myself.

The exercise in Elemental Orientation went about as expected. Actually, I think it went better than expected because by the end of the week, I was feeling much more balanced and I was finding the visualization and experience much more powerful. I did get the occasional funny look, as expected, but it seems that the longer these odd actions of mine go on, the less people are inclined to get in the way. In fact, I actually had one of my soldiers ask me about what I was doing and why. I ended up giving him a PDF copy of Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig so he can read at his leisure.

Color Breathing hasn't changed, but I have incorporated the Four-Fold Breath into it and have found that it became a bit more effective for me.

The Water Boiling exercise was actually quite amazing. I found it very difficult the first two days, but once I got past that I found a great increase in my astral senses during other meditations and the one pathworking I did this previous week.


Schedule of exercises for Week 4:
-Exercise 1: Self-Awareness I: Ego Denial (pg 3)
-Exercise 6: Inward Perception III: Astral Projection (pg 20)
-Exercise 12: Breathing II: Pore Breathing (pg 44)
-Exercise 17: Visualization I: Geometric Shapes (pg 57)
All of these are done each day, with no variations.

Thoughts and expectations for the week:
For the second iteration of Ego Denial, I am expecting high marks since this now incorporates thoughts as well as spoken words. Not sure what else to say in regards to this one.

The Astral Projection exercise should be easy enough, but it is most definitely something I feel is important to practice on a more regular basis. Aside from the occasional pathworking over the last few months, I haven't really done much focused astral work. I am curious to see if I will have any issues with this one, though I don't anticipate any.

Pore Breathing is another exercise I am already familiar with but don't practice on a regular basis. This version incorporates the four-fold breath that I mentioned earlier. I don't anticipate any problems, though I am looking forward to getting more focused practice with this exercise.

The Geometric Shapes exercise seems like it will be interesting. I like the use of mathematical ideals to build the shapes and work up from a single point. I am already practiced at visualizing sigils and such while doing workings, but I think this one may still be a strain for the first day or two. Definitely looking forward to it though, as a chance to flex some astral muscle.

Misc:
Not too many other things going on right now. I am still working on trying to figure out what I am going to use as my separator beads for the rosary, however once I get this figured out my good friend E.W. will be assembling it for me. This is mostly due to my lack of jeweler's skill. I managed to do one brief pathworking on the Tree of Life earlier this week, and it's effects were greatly needed. And, I am working out a plan to take my book of occult notes and make it into something a little easier to find what I am looking for in. Not to mention that it is currently a standard spiral bound notebook and it has definitely seen better days... I don't think I can count the number of coffee and tea stains on it.. the ripped and dog-eared pages...

A Long Term Plan (Week 3/40)

Review Of The Previous Week:
During the Criticism of Others exercise, I feel that I did fairly well. I have been rather practiced at biting my tongue for quite some time. My low point is 4 days where I had zero marks, and my high was a single day where I made fifteen marks. I'm not about to try and make excuses for that day, I feel I was fully justified in all that I said and can easily live with myself for it. I must admit though that if I were doing the second iteration of this exercise and writing also my thoughts that verge on crticism of others, I would more than likely have had quite a few marks each day simply from dealing the aforementioned Lieutenant.

The Stepped Relaxation and Color Breathing exercises went as the previous week. I still haven't gotten much out of the stepped relaxation, so at this point I am going to continue to rely on the methods I have used before and which I know to work for me.

The Candle Burning exercise ended up not happening. My interpreter did what he could but couldn't get the candles to me until the day that this week ended. I had substituted the Time Watching exercise of the week prior to this one. That one went better, it seems that a second week of "Doc staring at his watch again" was less odd than the first week. Either that or they decided it was worthless to keep asking questions.

Schedule of exercises for Week 3:
-Exercise 3: Self-Awareness III: Criticism of Self (pg 8)
-Exercise 5: Inward Perception II: Elemental Orientation (pg 17)
-Exercise 11: Breathing I: Color Breathing (pg 39)
-Exercise 16: Outward Concentration III: Water Boiling (pg 55)
All of these are done each day, with no variations.

Thoughts and expectations for the week:
Criticism of Self shouldn't be too bad, I am usually rather defensive of my actions and not too apologetic so long as I feel that whatever I did or said was justified before it became word. The flip side of this is that I tend to think a while before saying much of anything anyway. It's rare for me to be completely open and there are only a very small handful of people who get to see me unfiltered.

The Elemental Orientation exercise should go fairly smoothly, as it is not unfamiliar to me. I can't say I have ever done this particular exercise, but I've done plenty of similar ones. I can imagine I may get some funny looks if I am unable to find appropriate privacy, but after the Time Watching bit I doubt anyone will really mess with me. This exercise will probably help me to feel a bit more balanced in my daily life as well, which is definitely something I could use about now.

I expect Color Breathing to be the same as the previous weeks.

As an extension of the other Outward Concentration exercises, Water Boiling should prove simple enough. I don't exactly have a stove top with a whistling kettle, but I do have an electric kettle with multiple heat settings. I am eager to try this exercise, since I don't think I have ever done one like that focuses on the sense of hearing the way this one does.

Misc:
My plan for the Tree of Life Rosary is coming along smoothly. I am having a little trouble deciding what I will use as the beads that seperate the decades, as I am having them representative of the veils. Also, I have finished my initial run through of The Power Of The Word by Tyson (see previous post for ISBN) and my usual note taking process. I've been experimenting with a few of the exercises and rituals he has in there. I can not say I agree with everything he has written there, but it does provide some great food for thought. I did read over all of his Enochian references within the aforementioned work, and again he has some good food for thought though I would prefer to vet his source materials myself before agreeing or disagreeing with any of his assertions. For all he claims about the inherent apocalyptic nature of Enochian Magick, he seems quite obsessed with it.

A Long Term Plan (Week 2/40)

A note should be made here, that I am a member of the U.S. Army. I am a medic and currently deployed in support of Operation New Dawn in Iraq. Due to this, I have found some things to be more difficult than others to complete. This is also the reason that my updates are not always going to be right on the weekly mark, though I will try to keep as close as possible.

Review Of The Previous Week:
As ironic as the wording the following statement uses, it is true all the same. I found that I referred to myself quite often throughout the previous week. My highpoint came on the second day, at 356 marks. In all honesty, I expect this is fairly normal. It seems that in normal day-to-day communications, we all refer to ourselves often. This is mostly due to the way we relate our experiences, and the way we communicate our thoughts and feelings to one another. Also, it seems that the marks are higher in the first few days due to our awareness. As the exercise begins, our awareness is not as focused, so we catch ourselves afterward, where our errors are worth five marks instead of one. Whereas, by the end of the week, our awareness is more honed and thus we catch ourselves either just before or during the act whereby we either refrain from gaining a mark or gain only a single one. I also found that as the week progressed, it became easier to think in ways that avoided the use of personal pronouns that referred to myself. In no way do I claim that I could remove this entirely from my speech. My lowest marks were 72, and this was on the final day which also happened to be a day where I had very little verbal communication of a social nature. The book says that the second iteration of this exercise should also include our mental uses of the same words. This second iteration is seperated from the first by a few weeks though, it should prove interesting.

As to the stepped relaxation, I found that it was easy enough to find time to practice this one as I either did it at the very begining or end of my day. This proved to be the easiest practical exercise to find time for. I feel that this exercise has merit, however I did not achieve the deep relaxation that I find in other techniques I have practiced in the past. The technique is sound, it is a focused relaxation that works to draw your attention away from the body while relaxing the muscles, though I will return to my former relaxation technique for ritual and practical use. If any reading this currently has the book, you will notice that the use of this relaxation technique continues for a second week. In the spirit of the study, I will continue to use this technique for the requisite daily exercise.

The color breathing was as expected. A technique I have used in the past and one that I still find extremely effective. This exercise was a little more difficult to find time for, given my current situation. I found that I was interrupted quite a few times throughout the previous week, and would have to start over repeatedly. Also, the description suggests using a chain, string of beads, or knotted cord as a form of rosary in order to have no need to count your repetitions as you make them. For the first few days all I had were my dogtags, I found that the beads on the chain were almost too small and closely set to use. I ended up acquiring some para-cord and knotted it for use. This turned out to be a much better device. Also, the exercise along with some other research I am doing has inspired me to begin work on a personal rosary based on the Qabalastic Tree Of Life. Eitherway, this exercise continues for 2 more weeks, and is then found alternately throughout the rest of the 40 week guide. I really feel this is one exercise that never loses its value.

Time watching was a dificult exercise in itself thanks to a lack of practiced focus, and when interruption after interruption was piled upon it, it became nigh on impossible. The book advises against doing exercises such as this one when you are very tired, however about the only time I could find to complete it was very late at night either while monitoring the radios on a checkpoint or after I was finished with my various duties on the main camp. Even then, it was often interrupted by people coming to me for medical issues or by my room mate asking, "why are you staring at your watch". Aside from all of this, the exercise did become easier by the end of the week and I definitely see merit in the use of this exercise on a regular basis. It has already had an effect on my day-to-day life in that I am finding it easier to focus on things and increase my productivity because of it. This has great merit in the workings of ritual magick because, as the book states, the better your ability to focus on a sigil or talisman for an extended amount of time will allow you to better charge them for use. Also, my continued daily rituals(various Qabalistic rituals that I have practiced for the past few years) have benefited from this renewed ability to focus.

Schedule of exercises for Week 2:
-Exercise 2: Self Awareness II: Criticism of Others (pg 6)
-Exercise 4: Inward perception I: Stepped Relaxation (pg 13)
-Exercise 11: Breathing I: Color Breathing (pg 39)
-Exercise 15: Outward Concentration II: Candle Burning (pg 53)
All of these are done each day, no variation therein.

Thoughts and expectations for the week:
I would like to believe that I am not that critical of others, but must admit that I have never really paid that close attention to exactly how I speak. I am worried that I may find out I am more critical than I believe. Also, considering a certain LT that I am less than thrilled to be around but end up being stuck with for literally days at a time on the checkpoints, I may end up with high marks. Only time will tell on this one.

Exercises four and eleven are a continuation from the previous week, nothing has really changed about them. Perhaps with more practice the stepped relaxation will become more effective.

The 15th exercise will prove difficult simply because I will have to ask one of our interpreters to buy some candles for me. They are, technically, prohibited due to being a fire hazard. This is mostly due to a handful of people who couldnt be smart enough to clear the area around a candle or to put it out before they left the area. Such is life in the military though, it only takes one or two people to ruin something for everyone else. While I wait to see if the candles can be acquired, I will continue with Time Watching.

Misc:
During all of this, I am also studying a few other things. I recently got a copy of The Power Of The Word(ISBN 0738705284) by the same author as the above guided study. This is a study into the Qabalastic divine name YHVH and its use in ritual magick. I made mention earlier of daily rituals, aside from this study, that I complete. These are mostly taken from a study through Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig(ISBN 0875423248), though I substitute variations of a few of the rituals therein with ones from Circles of Power by John Michael Greer(ISBN 1567183131). This is due to a general lack of fondness for Enochiana. I am well aware of the raging controversy about this system, and have no desire to partake in these heated discussions. My non-use of the Enochian system itself, and also the subsequent altering of rituals when it makes an appearance within the Golden Dawn system of ritual magick, comes from a lack of familiarity. I do not know enough about it to comfortably make use of it. When this lack of comfort is combined with the current debate as to the "true intentions" of the Enochian Angels, I feel it is better to avoid use. I suppose this can be likened to not using a certain tool in the workshop when you do not know any of the safety techniques. Though I am studying what I can of the Enochian system, that is a discussion for a post all on its own. That is, if I ever get around to making enough sense of my own notes to write the post.

A Long Term Plan (Week 1/40)

I recently acquired a copy of The Magician's Workbook by Donald Tyson(ISBN 0738700002). He wrote it as a series of 40 exercises that help to develop the skills, concentration, and awareness necessary to properly practice Ceremonial Magick. These exercises are meant to be practiced immediately, as they are written as simply as possible. Mr. Tyson does a great job of explaining each exercise well, and the reasons behind its inclusion. The exercises are broken into sections starting with techniques that require no specific posture and working through reclining, sitting, standing and moving exercises. They cover the range from basic breath technique and awareness to the basic daily rituals involved in Ceremonial Magick as practiced by groups such as The Golden Dawn. And, he does this all with a bare minimum of tools. To quote the author, "they consist of a knife, the tattwa symbols cut from cardboard, various receptacles to hold common substances such as water and salt, candles, regular coins, a deck of Tarot cards, incense sticks and cones, a dowsing pendulum that can be made from a piece of thread and a ring, and simple objects such as a watch and a kettle." (The Magician's Workbook, Tyson, pg. xv)

At the end of the book, the author gives a suggested 40 week course intended to build up the necessary skills while working through all the exercises, followed by a 4 week rotational course meant to maintain the skill level. This is then followed by a rather well developed suggest reading list. I have read over the entirety of the exercises and started the 40 week course a few days ago. I intend to track my progress here by writing at the end of each week to report my experiences, and any thing else I find pertitnent, as well as give the upcoming week's projected exercise schedule. Out of necessity, this week will have two posts.

I invite anyone who may be interested to join me in this course, or simply post thoughts or questions pertaining to the process I am working through. I will gladly do my best to answer anything that may be posed to me.

Schedule of exercises for Week 1:
-Exercise 1: Self-Awareness I: Ego Denial (pg 3)
-Exercise 4: Inward Perception I: Stepped Relaxation (pg 13)
-Exercise 11: Breathing I: Color Breathing (pg 39)
-Exercise 14: Outward Concentration I: Time Watching (pg 50)
These are each performed every day of the week.

My thoughts and expectations for the week:
As I am already familiar with various relaxation techniques, and have done multiple methods of color breathing, I expect these two to be the easiest of this week's exercise. The Ego Denial involves a higher level of awareness than I usually practice. I expect high numbers of "infractions", but it is all in the process of growth. And as for the Time Watching, I know that my mind will wander, and I am curious to see just how well I can hold the necessary concentration.

Daily Ritual

On the blog, Pagan Blog Prompts, I found this prompt which interested me.
"Do you have a ritual/meditation/affirmation that you do daily? If so, what is it and what does it mean to you?"

I have a few things I do on a daily basis that all come together. Mostly I picked them up through Donald Michael Kraig's book, Modern Magick. To start, I do a relaxation and brief centering meditation, then a single tarot card draw followed by The Lesser Banishing Ritual of The Pentagram(LBRP),The Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram(BRH) and The Middle Pillar Ritual(MPR) with The Circulation of The Body of Light. This may seem like quite a lot to do on a daily, or nightly, basis, however it really doesnt take too long. To be honest, I do not get into full garb or use all the implements. I don't feel that this takes anything away from the rituals themselves, since the point is in the ritual not in what you are or are not wearing or holding.

To me, the relaxation and centering help me to be able to release tension and either approach the day openly or let go of stress from the day I have had, not to mention allowing me to be focused on my ritual work. The single card pull gives me an idea of what to be looking for in the immediate time and space around me. The LBRP clears the area of any negative influences, the BRH clears the area of any positive influences, and the MPR generally cleanses and heals the ritualist while helping to build up the idea and influences of the Tree of Life within them. All of this taken together helps me to feel more at ease, and gives me a clean place to start while at the same time helps to build up and maintain the skill of raising and directing energy. When I first started all of this, I really didn't see any effect. I did it, and I kept my journals because that was part of the learning program. Over time though, I started to see and feel the effects of these rituals. I have even had people around me comment that they had noticed when I started to appear more confident, and when I started to be more decisive. I believe this was primarily because of these rituals, as they enabled me to have a way to really find myself.


Link to the prompt:
http://paganprompts.blogspot.com/2010/07/prompt-daily-ritual.html